A very good and somewhat wise (at times) friend of mine used to say that there are three main
pillars in your life; your job, your house and your love life. The byproduct of all three pillars going
right is happiness. But sadly her theory proposed that at any given time, more often than not at least
one of these pillars will seemingly be going wrong. What a buzzkill. This sounds like a pretty
negative hypothesis right? Well actually the more I think about it, the more I'd have to agree. I
recently went for drinks with another of my friends (hi Emma), I was grumbling to her about one
thing or another and we both wondered, "when does life get easy?" (slightly melodramatic when
asking this question out of context with our conversation... I assure you the subject wasn't THAT
intense). It got me thinking about this "three pillar" theory and call me pessimistic but maybe, just
maybe life is never smooth sailing. And if hypothetically it was to all go our way, would we
necessarily still be happy or would we still want more?
Life is fundamentally a juggling act (or a box of chocolates if I have any Forrest Gump fans in the
house). When one element of your life is going great and goals are achieved or within your grasp,
there's another aspect which feels completely up in the air. I understand now that this is totally and
utterly within the norm. Speaking to most of my friends- not one of us is entirely content with
absolutely everything. Whether it's your career and feeling like it's come to a stand still or you hate
your present living arrangements or you're currently going through a killer break up. There's always
something on your "To Do List" of life. I sound like such a moaner don't I? Well on the contrary I'm
actually starting to figure out that all of these inadequacies are simply "fixer uppers" and when things
are feeling insufficient it's purely because most of us have the driving force to always want more.
That's a good thing right?
I read this article by Sophia Amoruso (I have too much love for this lady, I'm aware) in Instyle around
this time last year. She talks about the highs and lows of both her business and her marriage
explaining that "it's been said that you can't have it all but I call bullshit on that. We can have it all
just not at the same time". This seriously struck a cord with me, first and foremost because it was so
refreshing to have someone so influential admit defeat whilst affirming it's actually perfectly fine to
mess up every now and then. The idea that we can have it all is something we aspire to but
personally I feel like I always just miss the mark. But maybe that's ok. Maybe that's just life. Three's a crowd after all so perhaps there's always got to be something amiss?
My life has been a series of case studies only proving the "three pillar" theory to be true. Case in
point only five years back when I loved my little flat in Manchester city centre and I'd just got my first
real job in fashion but my love life was one big hot mess. Skip forward to around three years ago and
I have an awesome boyfriend, I'm still in my little flat but I can't stand my job. And then we have the
right here, right now dilemma where I love my job and of course my boyfriend Joe but I'm living back
at home saving to buy a house and truth be told I'm feeling like my life is made up of boxes, bags and
disorganised piles. I don't feel 100% settled and in retrospect nor have I ever! But what's the common
denominator between all these niggles? It's that I'm never fully satisfied, I understand when I can do
better and I have the innate urge to want to push myself further. That or I'm just a right moany cow...
Sometimes it will feel like your chips are down and absolutely everything is going wrong. Other
times- such as with myself right now- you'll feel like everything's happily coasting along but there's
just that one, teeny tiny little glitch. Other times you'll be on a winning streak and feel like your
bossing at life. Irregardless of your current situation, life is a balancing act and nothing stays the
same forever. We are constantly changing, constantly evolving and whatever the matter, it's
completely admirable to always want more. It's such a contradiction in itself that we're taught to
strive for the very best and yet it's this urge to want to better ourselves which subsequently makes
us feel inadequate! You can't continually discredit yourself and/or your hard work simply because
your life isn't completely a bed of roses. Imperfection isn't a bad reflection on you. You're certainly
your own biggest critic but cut yourself some slack or you'll never be happy because not everything
can always go to plan. Life loves an impromptu detour, you just have to roll with it.
I know I used to often look around at my friends and wondered how is everyone else is doing so
well? How can they have it all figured out and what on earth am I doing so wrong? But that's just the
completely wrong outlook to have. You've got to remember that everyone else is currently
performing that exact same circus act as you right now! You can only do your best so keep on
juggling. If you loose control of one thing than that's just fine because it will always come back
round.
Sophia x
My Outfit: Pink Turtleneck Knit Jumper- & Other Stories, Floral Jacquard Jacket- Selected At ASOS, Barrel Leg Indigo Denim Jean- Whistles, Black Chuck Taylor Converse- ASOS
My Outfit: Pink Turtleneck Knit Jumper- & Other Stories, Floral Jacquard Jacket- Selected At ASOS, Barrel Leg Indigo Denim Jean- Whistles, Black Chuck Taylor Converse- ASOS
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