Champagne For My Real Friends


'Tis the season for good will to all men right? Erm well at the risk of sounding like Scrooge, not necessarily. Recent experiences has sadly taught me there are plenty of people out there gladly dishing out some cold servings of bad will too this December. Although the timing on this post may seem a little off and a touch "anti-Christmas", it felt relevant and I have no doubt so many of you will relate so let's continue... 

It's kind of daunting really that as a blogger I'm technically "putting myself out there" with a large degree of my life, personality and opinions laid bare. I am well and truly in the firing line for judgement and that's fine, it's my cross to bear I guess. That said I'm incapable of taking criticism on the chin instead I stew on it, over analyse it and let it effect me all too much. Any negativity I've received and how I've chosen to handle it has been a huge learning curve for me. Don't get me wrong I by no means think I'm perfect and I'm well aware of my flaws, but I take too much to heart and this is my down fall. I blame my Pisces tendencies- I'm over emotional and too much of a dreamer. Ok scratch that, I just Googled Pisces traits and first "dislike" on the list was "criticism"... I don't think it could be any clearer. I'm screwed!
I recently found out someone I would have called a friend to some extent had said some pretty cutting remarks about me behind my back and needless to say I was a little hurt. To make matters worse it wasn't regarding something I'd particularly done but more who I am. Remember when I said I'm well aware of my flaws? Well one of those traits is I'm pretty black and white. If I don't think something's right or I'm upset than I speak up. I'm not rude and there's certainly no malice intended but I guess you could say you always know where you stand with me. I suppose depending on where exactly you're stood, depends on whether you think this characteristic of mine is positive or negative. 

The thing that got to me the most was the fact a comment on my personality isn't really a critique is it? There's nothing to be gained and no real issue to be resolved because people don't change (obviously the trolls in Frozen taught us all this life lesson) and besides if you're saying it behind a person's back, you're not really giving them a chance are you? You are- in my humble opinion- fighting a very one sided, kind of unfair battle. We're taught honesty is the best policy but than you're penalised for it and more often than not behind your back... I smell hypocrisies with a touch of cowardice. As the saying goes "who needs enemies with friends like these?".
It seems to me that you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. You can't please everyone and my advise to you would be that you shouldn't ever attempt to. It's exhausting! I know it's a hard pill to swallow that you might not be everyone's cup of tea but unfortunately no matter how hard you try this will always be the way. Why not take some of that wasted energy you spent trying to please everyone and project it into the people you know love you for you? I can't help but feel like witch hunting seems to be an increasingly popular sport at the moment whether it's in work, in your friendship group or more prominently on social media (Twitter is like every school playground in the world combined) I feel like everyone's experienced and/or witnessed some form of negativity. It's like we can't help ourselves but to mention what we deem to be other people's down falls. 
When did we all become so entitled? My thoughts has always been that if I don't like someone or I don't agree with what they stand for than I just won't bother with them. It's that simple. The last thing I would think to do is voice my opinion to the world from behind a keyboard, a person's back or a closed door... I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm just not made for pitting against others. We have to treat others as we wish to be treated and if that's the case than we need to stop with unnecessary criticism. No-one likes to hear negative comments about themselves, I mean we'd all be completely naive to think we'd got through life so far without one or two bad words being said. But if it's not something you'd be willing to sit down and say to the person's face than as far as I'm concerned it's really not worth saying and I'd rather not know. 
It's easier said than done to rise above hurtful comments and the outspoken, head strong girl inside me wants to confront every person who's ever badmouthed me including said "super amazing friend" but the more I think about it, the more I've put it into perspective. Not everyone will like you and if there's clearly no loyalty than there's no love lost, so why be so sentimental? Why care? Besides the damage is done, feelings have been hurt and respect has been lost.

You can't win them all and when referring to someone who talks behind your back nor would you want to. Leave them to it, don't waste your time stooping to their level, kill them with kindness and don't say a thing because they don't warrant a second of your time.

Loose lips sink ships so just smile and sail on by.

Sophia x

Outfit Details: Jumper- Blossom's Merch, Jeans- Whistles, Jacket- Lindex, Boots- Topshop





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