Spooky Little Girl Like You

Happy Halloween you wonderfully spooky lot! I hope you're raring to go with your best pumpkin craving skills and your most frightfully monstrous costume at the ready. This is my officially my most favourite time of year! There's something about all the decorations, the turn in the weather and all the golden leaves scattering the streets which makes me revert back to being a 7 year old kid. So in light of us all get our freak on (Cue Missy Elliot...) I wanted to discuss the notion of how wonderful being your own little weirdo actually is! As Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice so aptly and proudly put it, "I myself am strange and unusual".

The reason I want to kind of broach this subject is not just because it 'tis the season to be as freaky as possible but because there are a few topics floating around at the moment which are super relevant and in my view extremely toxic to how us ladies feel we SHOULD dress. I want to talk about why it is so so SO important we all continue to go against the grain and dress how we want without fear of prejudice. 
I don't want to delve too much into a certain story that's all over the news right now but what I do want to quickly discuss is the "argument"- I'm putting this word in inverted commas because a wise man (my mum) once told me you can't argue with a fool- which goes hand in hand with this story. It's the idea that what women wear is effectively a catalyst for what the world perceives they are in turn "asking for". This is a myth, a fabrication, a lie and cop out excuse for a much bigger problem. I honestly don't know a single women who hasn't been the victim to catcalls at one point in her life. So were they all asking for it because of what they wore? No. No they were not. The consideration of attracting male attention did not help them decide what outfit to wear that morning...  Hard to believe I know (that's sarcasm by the way)!
Just to give the world of finger pointers and team "she asked for it" an idea- I spend the majority of my time in scruffy trainers and dungarees. To make this a little clearer- 90% of the time, I quite literally do not care what anyone thinks of how I'm dressing never mind the male population. But yet I'm still subjected to comments on the street or (and unfortunately more frequently) an inappropriate message on my social media? *scratches head and ponders how dungarees in need of an iron and dry shampooed hair could possibly equate to me "asking" for anything other than a very large coffee*. I really can't quite express just how much sleazy comments or messages on my Instagram make my blood boil. Note to all men who do this- just because I put a photo of myself up on social media does not in any way, shape or form mean I need or want male validation. You look like an idiot. I don't care what you think of my face, my legs, my hair, my WHATEVER... I really just want to throw my phone at your head right now (but violence isn't the answer and I don't want to break my phone).
There is absolutely nothing I nor any other woman for that matter are doing in these kind of situations which is the problem and I can't help but worry it's really easy to loose sight of this. It's so important to never let any form of derogatory behaviour stunt your confidence to go out there and wear your personality on your sleeve (quite literally). If you want to go out with your undies on your head, do it! It's all about dressing how you want to and unless you verbally asked for something- than you didn't ask at all. 
A couple of weeks back I asked the question "is social media good for us?" and the jury is still out on this one but one thing I'm certain it ISN'T good for is how much it encourages us to be continuously "on show" and constantly trying to impress. We're obsessively comparing and competing with each other to have the most Instagrammable lives to the point where "content" is a consideration in everything we do. I think for a lot of us feeling the pressure it's easy to loose sight of your own individual personality and style. What's more some where along the way I think a fair few of us are mistaking inspiration for imitation and I'm not sure just how healthy that is. 
We're no longer looking at the girl next to us and thinking "I like her bag, maybe that could go with this or that outfit of mine" instead we're thinking how we'd like the whole entire lifestyle and how can we have the exact carbon copy of it! It's too much! It's exhausting! And aside from that... It's boring! As humans I feel like we're programmed to conform BUT we also have the ability to think for ourselves and form our own opinions... The latter trait of which is a lot more appealing from where I'm standing. We're running dangerously close to the risk of all looking EXACTLY the same. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing to find women who inspire your style- I'd be out of  job if it wasn't- but it's also incredibly important to find your feet with your own personal style. It's about being your own person and letting your own wonderful personality shine through. In fact better still it's about being your own incredible little weirdo who really doesn't and shouldn't give a second thought to what the girl next to you is wearing. I've been caught out myself too many times for second guessing something I felt comfortable in and swapping it for something I felt was more "appropriate" and I just felt stupid! There is nothing you will wear better than your own self assurance. So don't wear those heels or that dumbed down outfit if you don't want to!
Dressing for you and finding your own sense of style is a lot harder than it sounds. We like to stick to a comfort zone in what we wear and that's perfectly logical but personal style is effectively about disregarding the "norm" and discovering your OWN, distinct comfort zone that works for nobody else but you. It's about writing your own rule book and then- hardest of all- finding the courage to present it however you see fit. I think sometimes with style we feel backed into a corner but I can't stress it enough that although it feels EASIER to wear someone else's great taste, it will feel BETTER if you wear your own. Feeling like "you" is effectively what will get your through the day and feeling confident will make it a heck of a lot easier. I feel at my happiest when I'm wearing an outfit I love... Call me a touch shallow, I really don't care. It's true! In a world where we feel constantly under scrutiny, it's important for our own piece of mind we strive for self confidence in what we wear and not self consciousness. 
There's that one scene in The Craft which has always resonated with me (amongst many others), it's the one where the bus driver tells the girls to be careful of weirdos and they reply with "we are the weirdos mister". As the age old saying goes, "don't judge a book by it's cover" but that's easier said than done. There's certainly a lot to be side about how girls should dress but none of it should be derogatory and all it should be empowering. We have a hard enough time without making it more difficult for ourselves. Break the mould, feel comfortable, feel you and be your own amazing weirdo.

Sophia x

Skirt- Rixo at Studio B, Jacket- Solovevintage (receive 15% off with code "sophia15%" until 3rd Nov), T-Shirt- Alexa Chung, Boots- By Far

For more halloween/bad ass girl inspiration check out my Pinterest board below or shop from the carousel below!
Spooky Kinda Girl Like You

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