A New Year Update

Maybe my new year's resolution (not that I particularly believe in making them) should be to avoid starting every blog post with something a long the lines of "sorry I haven't written on here for a while" or "it's been difficult to know what to write about" because there is obviously an on going theme of not finding the time or enthusiasm to write. One thing I've found myself struggling particularly with so far in 2021 is finding the energy to keep myself motivated and powering through. Generally speaking on any given year January's are historically a pretty strange time for most people; it’s always that limbo period between the blissful merriment of Christmas and waiting impatiently for Spring to begin and shine a little light into our days. I can only speak from personal experience but in my job, this is always the quiet time of the year. Brand's are planning out campaigns, sales are still in full swing and all in all there's just very little going on. In that sense this year hasn't really broken the norm, the only difference being that right now everyday is groundhog day. There's no breaking away from grey weather or the lack of motivation with a coffee date, a long weekend away or a trip to the cinema (something which I found myself particularly pining after right now) and so you'd be forgiven for feeling more at a loose end than usual.

Ironically I decided to sit down and write this post as a distraction that would add a glimmer of normality into my day and now as I tap away at my keyboard I'm a little concerned at how gloomy this all sounds. For this I apologise but please bear with me. I was under no illusion that come midnight on 31st December things would miraculously change and life would magically revert back to it's much missed normality, but I just wasn't quite expecting such a whirlwind of emotions for our first week in January! Three days into the new year, my family dog Bluebell passed away. She was very old and it was something we had been bracing ourselves for but of course that didn't necessarily make it any easier especially as I wasn't able to say goodbye to her, give her one last cuddle or comfort my mum. As quite an introverted person, human interaction is something I've struggled to miss at the same magnitude as others over the past year, I've even spent time worrying that lockdown has only exasperated my tendency to be happy in my own company over being social however in a moment of sadness like this one, I found myself in need of the comfort of friends and family, a sense of togetherness, familiarity and a welcome distraction. Although none of this was possible, bizarrely it was the reminder I needed that no man is an island or at least deep down I don't truly believe I am. I am thankfully not destined for the Miss Havisham lifestyle and I can’t wait to spend time with all the amazing people who make me happy.

Without making this post political over the past few days we've seen world events that are difficult to comprehend, disheartening, heart breaking and (drawing from my own feelings) utterly terrifying, to the point where I'm starting to think that maybe 2021 is deliberately trying to give 2020 a run for it's money. That said we are only in the second week of January, this isn't a reflection of the next 11 months and let's not forget that amongst 2020's extremely low points there were also a lot of highs, a lot of progression and a lot of much needed lessons to be learnt. I have every faith 2021 will be the same. There is light at the end of the tunnel but there is no shame in being a realist and understanding the road ahead is still rocky. Yes, I amongst many others am feeling a little lost right now. I'm acutely aware I'm not waking up every day with a lust for life and the enthusiasm I need to plan out a productive day, but you know what? That's absolutely fine. Looping back to my first paragraph these feelings of complacencies are perfectly normal in any given January and maybe I shouldn't lay the blame entirely on 2021 alone. If anything the past 2 weeks have given me a hard lesson in going a little easy on myself. No one is expecting anyone to be their best, most brightest self right now, this is a jarring and particularly difficult time/circumstance to navigate and if you don't feel up to a productive day, well that's absolutely understandable. Right now I'm forcing myself to repeat daily the following mantra, "Don't be so hard on yourself, there is time to improve and there is time to settle". Again, I really do apologise if this post isn't a barrel of laughs or bursting with energy but as it happens neither am I and that is absolutely A-OK.

Sending love and best wishes for the road ahead.

Sophia x

1 comment:

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