You can tell I'm off to a slow start when we're close approaching March and I'll still saying it's the beginning of the year. The problem isn't how fast the months are rolling by, but more that I feel like I'm stuck in a 2019 kick start rut. I guess you could say I feel like recently I've lost my get up and go, I feel a little out of sorts and worst of all I just can't quite put my finger on why. There's that one scene in Breakfast At Tiffany's, the one which makes me fall for Holly Golightly hook, line and sinker where she very articulately explains "The Mean Reds". They're horrible, you feel afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. The first time I watched this scene I remember thinking "she gets it", as truth be told the more I think about it, the more I'm certain I might be a long standing sufferer of the dreaded Mean Reds. I'm well adverse to over thinking, over worrying, suffering with imposter syndrome or the unexplained feeling of displacement, all of which I think fall neatly into the category of "The Mean Reds". My issue over the past month or so was that I just couldn't shake this feeling off, Mean Reds sounds so aggressive, bold and slightly dramatic... Mine was more a slow and steady underlying feeling looming in the background, maybe The Mean Magnolias would be a little more apt? Or how about The Mean Eggshell Beige? Needless to say I can't stay feeling like this forever and over the past fortnight I've been doing my upmost to get my va-va voom back and as I don't believe I'm the only one who ever feels this way, I thought I'd share my POA which hopefully can help metaphorically give yourself the kick up the bum you sometimes need!
Do What You Love/Love What You Do
Give yourself the time you need to stop, assess the situation and even restart. When you loose something in your house what is the first thing you always do? You retrace your steps right? And the same goes for when you yourself are feeling a little lost. Go back to the begin, retrace your steps and try to remember what makes you fundamentally happy and why you love doing what you do. Ever had one of those days when you don't know what to do with yourself? You've not made any plans and you're kind of wondering around the house aimlessly? Well it's days just like that in which taking the time to remember what you love is so important! I know it sounds ridiculously obvious but you'll be surprised at how many things you can recall, that made you smile once upon a time, that you've since just stopped doing for no reason at all! I recently got back into baking, something I used to adore in my early twenties but that I just lost the motivation for as the years rolled by. Granted I was at a time in my life when I just didn't really have a spare moment to stop and make frangipane but right now I DO have the free time and it feels so good to recall why this little hobby makes me so happy. It's therapeutic to me, super relaxing and without sounding little odd I feel like I've been reacquainted with a side of me I'd forgot existed.
New Ventures Mean New Adventures
I spoke recently about my aversion to New Year's Resolutions however I did go on to explain that I think formulating a good old "to do" list or a series of goals is always advisory and this opinion still stands! Last year I created a "40 things to do before I'm 40" list and I feel like I've babbled on about this to you guys so much already but it's only because I can't believe how incredible it's been at encouraging me to actually go out there and push myself. In the space of one year I ticked off so many bucket list goals I never would have done if I hadn't have laid them out for myself in layman's terms! If it wasn't for this list I wouldn't have started my driving lessons, I wouldn't have finally read the pile of wish list books I've been collecting over the year but never actually got round to reading! I bought a house, I finally went to Lisbon and New York, I saw The Rolling Stones, I saved up and bought the Acne jacket of my dreams and obviously most importantly I kinda learnt to poach an egg... If you like them a little sloppy. The point I'm getting at is sometimes you need clear, concise goals to actually hop to it and this year I've tried to do the same thing with mini projects planned out along the way. They don't have to be big and bold ideas or the master plan but just little ideas you've had buried away in your head that you can finally make a reality and achieve.
This year I've finally decided to start a Book Club and just yesterday I posted my first video to IGTV introducing the concept! Who knows how well it will do but I'm so glad I finally gave myself the push to do it. I'm planning to do a lot more work with fellow bloggers, myself and Alice Catherine are currently in the middle of putting our thinking caps together to come up with some ideas! I hoping to do more talks and events because last year I found these really improved my confidence and more importantly I actually enjoyed doing them! And lastly I have a very exciting project coming up with my old team at Joanie Clothing but you'll have to watch this space for more information on that one...
You're Incomparable, That's What You Are
This is the mother of all tips because it really does apply to most scenarios in which you're feeling down, anxious or at a lost. I've said it before and I'll say it again, stop comparing yourself with others! On those days when you feeling low please let it be known that comparing yourself to everyone around you and more importantly everyone on your Instagram feed is categorically the most counterproductive thing you can do. Comparison is a complete trickster because in your head you think you're searching for comfort or familiarity in others, when in fact subconsciously you're actually seeking out those moments when you think they're doing better than you. It's basically self sabotage. If you go looking for trouble you'll find it. Where Instagram is concerned, yes you will find squeaky clean, just peachy lifestyles in which to compare with your own but that's because they've been edited down and the bad bits filtered out. Take the achievements of your friends and your peers as inspiration and motivation but please do remember that everyone's life is going at completely different speeds, in a completely different order and you just need to concentrate on your own lane, in your own pace.
Talk The Talk
It's funny old thing how sometimes the more out of sorts you feel, the more confidence you loose to actually talking out loud about it. I know I worry that if I say how I'm feeling than maybe no one will understand and it will some how end up making me feel worse. It's ironic because I've found once I do finally muster the courage to chat to friends that I've only ever felt relieved, comforted and more often than not, surprised that they feel the same! Feeling a little lost every now and then is common place and if you just learn to open up a teeny, weeny bit, you'll find you're not alone. As the saying goes, no man is an island so there is absolutely no need to suffer in silence. There's honestly a real weight taken off your shoulders through sharing your worries and just to receive as simple a response as "I completely understand" does the world of good. This year from talking to my friends and explaining how I feel I've realised they feel the same and we've made plans whether that's a quick coffee between jobs, a work project in the making or just the idea to go away for a weekend. If your friends can't collectively pull you out of your rut than who can? Heave ho ladies!
No one is ever 100% all systems go, raring to take the world on and full of the joys of spring. We all have down days, weeks or in my case months but if you dig deep enough you'll always find that same old, get up and go enthusiasm buried away, just waiting to be rediscovered. Just remember The Mean Reds don't last forever. Keep calm and carry on.
Wish me luck,
Sophia x
Outfit Details: French Toast Slogan Sweater- Sezane (gifted), Tartan detail Jeans- Isa Arfen, Black Suede Bag- Gucci at Net-A-Porter
Photography by Rosie Butcher
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